Karbala is Myself

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

This came to me for all of us on the first or second day of Muharram

Karbala is Myself

I stand in the desert of Karbala of my own self.

I am thirsting for Truth

I am attacked by the enemies of my heart and my soul.

I am attacked by greed – the greed of never being satisfied because I do not see the Giver.

By superficiality – which makes me see only the surface of things because I have not undertaken the effort to go deep.

By envy of others – for not seeing the Source and the Lord within myself and others.

By anger – imagining that I am a lord who has the right to be angry with others, or angry at the world, or angry with God.

By righteousness – in the illusion that ‘I know’ and that my knowing is better than others’ knowing.

By pride – in thinking that what belongs only to You is mine, and wanting to be praised for what was never mine.

By heedlessness – by not remembering every moment my true condition, that I am always and only Your servant and a slave.

By ungratefulness – not being aware of Your constant giving, and turning away from the inner spring of gratitude that You make flow in my heart.

By excessiveness – not taking the reins of guidance to moderate my earthly self.

By despondency – not waking up from the dream of the world and therefore feeling its burden and its sleep inducing drink.

By despair – not trusting in the Ever-present and Ever-near.

And the Yazid of all enemies – ignorance and unawareness of You, not seeing You in every movement of myself and in every moment of creation.

The dust clouds of the world surround me, making me see permanence where there is none, making me imagine value where there is none, making me seek refuge where there is none.

My faith is my only armor.

O Allah please let me see my nakedness and nothingness before Your Divinity.

Please let me see that I alone have attracted all of these enemies and stirred up the dust clouds of illusion around me.

You alone can save me and remove my distress by taking my soul, as You took the soul of Imam Huseyn, letting me die to what is not true in myself before my soul leaves my body. You alone are my refuge and my savior. All might and capacity are in Your Hands. Please let me rely only on You.

And please let me feel You answer my cry.

I turn to You Alone for the healing of my soul and the salvation of my being.

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